Saturday, May 30, 2026
-
Vancouver
Springwater trailhead at Splendid Cycles, 407 SE Ivon St, Portland, OR 97202
Springwater trailhead at Splendid Cycles
Bryan Watson
Sat, May 30, 2026, 10:00 AM
Meet at 9:45. Ride at 10am, or when Damian gets there.
3:00 PM
Ride is a loop
End location: Springwater trailhead at Splendid Cycles
Ride length: 15+ miles
BORK BORK BORK! The Not‑So‑Swedish Chef has escaped the kitchen EARLY and is wobblin’, gobblin’, and pedal‑gobblin’ his way onto the Springwater Corridor before BikeSummer even knows what hit it. Consider this the pre‑season sauté, the warm‑up whisk, the shake‑n‑bake shakedown ride before the Chef is out corkin’ the Bork at the June 1st Kickoff Event. We’re rolling out with a tiny but mighty crew of Rain‑or‑Shine riders at a 10 mph social simmer, heading toward the end of the Springwater trail… or maybe not… or maybe yes… or maybe the Chef gets distracted by a goose. Who knows. The group decides. The Chef pretends he decides. Chaos decides, and his name is usually Damian. If you’ve ridden with me during BikeSummer, you already know the flavor: friendly pace, good conversation, and this year, one unhinged culinary Muppet‑adjacent man in a chef coat yelling BORK at the wind. This ride is all about stretching the legs, stirring the blood, and sautéing the soul before festival season begins. And of course, flushing out the MUPPETS — yes, YOU — to discover whether you are a Muppet of a person, or simply a Puppet of pure chaos.” Come ride. Come laugh. Come GET THE CHEF OUT!
ShareShift hosts this calendar as a public service. Rides and events are posted to the Shift calendar by community members, not by Shift. Rides and events posted to the Shift calendar are not sponsored by Shift or Shift’s fiscal sponsor Umbrella.